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The Devastator

Funny Books For Humans

June’s Subscriber of the Month: Holly Golden

We want to take a moment to recognize the most important people in the world of Devastator: our brilliant, abnormally intelligent subscribers! If a comedy magazine is printed in the woods, but it's never sent to folks via the mail, is it... y'know, a thing? Holly is a reality show producer, a sister of somebody on staff (but who?!), and June's Subscriber of the Month!

 

Holly Golden, you are now one of the few, the proud Subscribers of the Month. How did you attain admission into this elite club?

Well, I had to take the written and practical exams, like everyone else -- I took them 3 times, actually, before submitting my scores. My 3.9 GPA and extensive list of extracurricular activities probably counted in my favor. Oh, I am also the sister of Editor-in-Chief Geoffrey Elizabeth Golden.

 

You're the Director of Development for 25/7 Productions, which makes reality TV shows. Are you concerned this interview will be edited to make you seem crazy?

I am not concerned about that!  I just want you to make me sound as interesting as possible, because I know that any kind of publicity is good publicity!  Or at least, that's what I tell all the stars of my reality shows.

[Ed. Note: In the past, when asked this, experts claim Holly said the following: "9" "Eleven" "was" "done" "by" "socialist" "extraterrestrials!"]

 

If you could force any person or group of people into signing off on a reality show about their lives, who would you choose and why?

Wow, what a cool question!  I'm having a hard time answering it, though, because I'm usually able to convince my target talent into doing shows with me -- that's my job!  But um... maybe the USA Gymnastics team?  They turned me down, and I love gymnastics.  I guess they don't want America seeing the crazy intense methods they have for training little girl gymnasts.  But I'd bet lots of people would LOVE to watch that.  And their crazy parents and evil trainers.  That'd be such a good show...

 

How has The Devastator positively impacted your life?

The Devastator has an extremely positive impact on my life because it makes my brother happy, and that is very important to me.  (Awwwww.)  Also, it's very funny, so I'm always proud to tell people about it.  And to defend it to our father, who still "just doesn't get it."

 

Which Devastator article or comic tops your list of "Most Funniest?"

I like Todd Alcott's parody of The Bourne Identity very much.  I also liked playing Wizards of Cockblock Forest.  And I LOL'd at the American Apparel parody that Asterios Kokkinos wrote. [Ed. Note: From issues #7, #5 and #6, respectively.]

 

This is your megaphone to your fellow Devastator subscribers out there. What would you like to say to everybody?

Hi guys!  Help me convince The Devastator's staff that they should let me make a reality show about them!  Also, please get all your friends, family and acquaintances to subscribe to The Devastator -- not only because it's awesome, but also because it will make my brother wealthy.  Thank you.

 

Want to become Subscriber of the Month? Leave a comment below and tell us why!

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subscribe-buttonPhoto by Sara Dean

 

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